I got started working out because I was tired of feeling so lethargic throughout the day. I was constantly tired and used every excuse in the book as to what may be causing the fatigue rather than looking at all the weight I had gained over the years. What I mean by over the years is that I gained 150 pounds over an 11 year period. When I was 18 years old I had a bright future ahead of me being accepted at the University of Idaho on a full-ride swimming scholarship. Needless to say my swimming career was cut off short after feeling so burnt out with the sport. Prior to the scholarship, I had worked out from age 7 through 18 years old (11 years of swimming in all). Shortly after quitting swimming I learned to regret that decision because I had in a sense lost my identity. My family was very disappointed in my decision so I became depressed shortly after and turning to food as an outlet. As I gained weight, I found myself looking back on old pictures thinking, "Wow... really wish I could be HER again and I thought I was fat back then?" I did not learn to appreciate my figure at the prime of my life so I'm hoping to find a new found appreciation this year.
So here's a little insight on the games my mind would play on me.Not long ago I remember eating a whole pizza on the couch while watching Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Series with Chris Powell. After I finished my pizza and show I started to cry feeling touched by the story of a girl who transformed herself. It gave me that sliver of hope like "Hey, I can do this!" I told myself, " I will start Monday" after watching the episode. Monday's diet never started... nor the following Monday until I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. So this year no more excuses and a "JUST DO IT" mentality. Not being able to play with my daughter in the way she needs me should be a great reminder to keep motivated too. I refuse to watch another year go by on the side lines wishing I could do the things I was once able to do.

I love working out because each and everyday I tell myself that I am that much closer to my goal. I so badly want to be out of this self-made prison I created for myself. I should only weight 150 pounds at my height and today, I am twice that weight. I also appreciate working out because everyday that I do make the commitment to do so is choosing life over death. May sound harsh but it is the reality of it. I've been told by doctors and family that if I continue to live this life I could develop diabetes, have a stroke, or die. So I choose LIFE this year and to crawl out of the depths of hell inch by inch for not only myself but for my two beautiful daughters.