I had serious eating issues in highschool. I would eat 1000calories a day and exercise with Kathy Smith VHS everynight. Nothing could stop me from doing those videos. Looking back I prob weighed about 100lbs and thought I was fat *sheesh*. I then discovered jogging and gave up weight training altogether and jogged everday for about 1 hour. This went on for years. During that time I also developed a minor ED where I ate 600-800calories/day. Just stupidity. Or insanity? I went to a resort in Mexico, my first resort vacation, you know the buffets at those places, and ate to my hearts content. Chocolate fountain, need I say more. I remember feeling full for the first time in a long time and I never wanted to feel 'hunger' again. I did gain about 30lbs in the next few years .. my highest weight was 140 .. alot for being 5'2! I had a stint of binge/starve for about 8 months and still struggle with that a little. I also did weight training off and on for the past 3 years but it hasn't been until the past year I've gotten serious. Did a lot of research and reading and I finally know how to build the kind of body I want. I used to want to look a certain way immediately, now I realize good things come to those who wait .. and work at it.

It makes me feel strong and more confident in myself. It gets my mind out of the dark place of never feeling good enough with my body, never measuring up. When I stop lifting and focus on cardio I become obsessed with being 'skinny', something my body isn't capable of unless I go to extreme, unhealthy measures. When I'm lifting, I'm empowered. My head is clear of negativity. I want to be fit, strong, and healthy. My mind is in a good place and I actually look in the mirror and feel happy with my accomplishments. I stop comparing myself to every skinny girl I see, wishing I could be as thin as them. Because lifting helps me remember I'm more then this outer shell.