When I was younger, I was never really into "working out" or eating clean. I played sports but I honestly couldn't say I tried very hard. I had a curvy build for as far back as I remember and I was okay with that. Once high school ended, so did most of my physical activities. No more gym classes and no one making me do anything. Between commuting to school and rarely eating (and when I did, it was horrible), I gained weight. It didn't bother me too much. I didn't have anyone I needed to impress.

My main problem was that I was a "starter and stopper". I'd start working out or eating healthy again and then I would quit.

Why? Because I didn't see immediate results like all of the commercials promise you. And come on, doesn't a big, fat, delicious burger taste better than celery? Oh yeah, I was definitely a "starter and stopper."

Jumping ahead, I met a wonderful man, fell in love and a while later found out I was going to be a mom! Woo hoo!

My mistake: All healthy eating and habits went out the window!

Okay, not all of them.

I put up a pretty great fight against my cravings. But around eight months pregnant, I caved. It was delicious fast food burgers and cookie dough. I know, you're probably screaming inside. Believe me, I am too. So I definitely packed on the weight. My mom had warned me that whatever weight I put on during my pregnancy, I'd have to get off. But everyone said I'd lose it right away, right?

Why don't I ever listen to my mother...

So post pregnancy, combined with inactivity and mildly healthy eating habits, on top of returning to a stressful job were clean meals were a rarity, equaled out to disaster. I started to get back on track with my partner at work and we were doing great....until the company went under.

So now that I'm jobless, I have TONS more time at home. And that also meant I had some real time to take a good look at myself in the mirror, and I mean REALLY look.

What did I see? I saw a mother, tired, eating horribly while watching T.V. as I folded laundry, whose physical activities included vacuuming. My body is really at it's worst. I'm almost back up to pregnancy weight and it took a hard look at myself to realize that I can't keep doing this.

So I made a promise to myself, it was time to start getting healthy again, with a strict exercise regimen and clean diet.

And this time...there's no stopping.

So here I go, time to do this for real.

As strange as it sounds, I love it when I feel like I'm dying, like I can't take another breath, but then I do. I love pushing myself to get that one last rep in. I love seeing and tracking my progress. And I love watching myself change. And I really can't wait to see what kind of monster I become.

Cheers.