During the last month of school in 9th grade, I decided to step on the scale and weight myself. I always knew I was bigger but somehow it didn't bother me much up until now. The picking and teasing really got to me and I wanted to be thinner. I was crying myself to sleep and I felt like I couldn't be myself because everyone judged me on my outer appearance. When I went to get check-ups at the doctors office, they would say I was overweight and needed to exercise and eat better but I didn't think much of it. Over the years, my weight just kept piling on. So, 9th grade year I weighed in at 180. My heaviest ever. I was scared going into sophomore year so I decided to do the Insanity workout program since I didn't have access to a gym. I ended up losing 20 pounds. During sophomore year, I lost another 20. So here I am right now, I am weighing in at 140 and about to go into my junior year of high school. I feel more comfortable with my body but am still nowhere near where I want to be. I use my dumbbells at home to workout and try different workout programs but I really want to get a gym membership because I know I would get better results. I am still working with what I got and am hoping to lose another 20 pounds this year. I would like to lose all my fat and get down to a low body fat percentage and then start ""bulking"". I do not want to get very big but I would like to have a solid foundation of muscle. It would be amazing to do a bikini competition in a couple of years. I would feel very accomplished. Not only is going through a prep a hard thing to do for anyone, but I would feel very accomplished because of my background and how hard I've struggled from being close to 200 pounds and constantly pushing myself to lose weight.
I love working out and lifting heavy because it's a productive way to get out my anger. its something to do when I'm bored. I always feel better afterwards and my stress goes away. I feel like I'm nourishing my body and helping it stay tight. I feel more confident about myself afterwards. I feel like I can do anything. When I push myself in the gym and tell myself I can do another rep, I feel I can do anything in the world. The mindset and willpower and strength transcends into my regular life. I love being able to play with my little brother and not get tired.