Warning...A lil heavy topic
OVERALL RATING
Just sharing in the hopes that maybe one person sharing or starting this journey with me may be helped by my honesty. I used to drive along the road and day dream about just letting go of the steering wheel, not particularly wanting to die but wanting an out, wanting to get away from the pain that was consuming me, wanting to get rid of my responsibilities, wanting to stop thinking for a while. That is what depression does to you, it makes you completely selfish because you are consumed by your own thoughts. I wasn't thinking about what would happen to my husband or son, I wasn't thinking of anything other than the negative thoughts continously running around my head. One day my son (who was 4 at the time) walked into the kitchen, grabbed a chair and put toast in the toaster all by himself and as I watched him from my permanent position on the couch I thought "when the F"^* did he grow up" I had spent 18 months consumed by my depression and PTSD I had completely missed my boy growing up. That was my AAH HAA moment. That was 3 years ago and now my family get the happy and healthy version of me, that lives in the moment with them. I will never say its easy but I can tell you its totally worth it. If you have those thoughts please talk to someone, depression and PTSD are not things to be ashamed of, they are an illness just like any other and there are so many options for help out there.