jusr real
OVERALL RATING
I feel so hypocritical sometimes when I find myself having meltdowns over my physique because I know others would find that selfish.... Some might even say I have no right to feel 'fat' or 'weak' or 'fluffy'...try walking in their 'overweight' shoes....and their right....I have no idea what it feels like to be obese. Even on my heaviest days I was never close to becoming that.... But I do know what's it's like to cringe in the skin you're in...to emotionally binge my feelings away in the pantry closet and then spend my night sleeping by the toilet....I know what it's like to never feel 'perfect' enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, small enough.....good enough. I know what it's like to wake up uncomfortable with your morning reflection. I know what it's like to go to bed at night anxious and exhausted due to the extreme efforts (starving, purging, excessive cardio, belly wraps, diet pills, cleanses, etc.) I've taken during the day in hopes of maybe waking up comfortable with my morning reflection...... ......And I didn't need to be overweight to feel like this. I've worked hard to overcome many of these thoughts and coping mechanisms but that doesn't mean I'm not still human and therefore I have the right to have days where I feel off...... Body issues/dysmorphia come in all shapes and sizes, all colors and cultures, both men and women. Regardless of whether they feel 'fat' and you see skinny, they feel soft and you see shredded, they feel ugly and you see beautiful...... at the end of the day we are all HUMAN and no one can self loathe or self affirm better than the reflection staring back at you. After some much needed gym therapy tonight I took a 'snap' minute to remind myself "Jill you are NOT PERFECT- JUST REAL...."