just me
OVERALL RATING
I recently had a conversation with my mom about words...in my moms eyes she see's nothing but her strong beautiful maybe not so little anymore Jillian....her kind (and maybe naive at times) soul can't fathom anyone else seeing different, let alone ever ridiculing me for the very things she finds beautiful about me. It's funny how there was once a time where I secretly wished for someone to verbally slap the **** out of me for my irresponsible and inconsiderate actions. A time where I traded self respect for temporary love, where I partied my emotions out and then partied some more, where I gambled my reputation in hopes of being reputable with the 'in crowd'. And as I posted pics of the weekend binges, stumbling selfies, keg stands, snuggles with strangers and so on and so on... No one thought twice to tell me 'You ugly.... You look gross ......and even worse Your a bad mom cause you're never with your kid".....Nope not once do I recall any external criticism regarding my lifestyle and/or look..... Well other than the constant internal voice telling me to grow the **** up already Jill. Flash forward to today.....at age 31, in the best physical shape of my life...learning to love myself for all my imperfections, self aware of the potential I have to live all my dreams, completely surrounded by #beYOUtifulbeasts daily, each day loving the skin I'm in more and more.... I find it ironic that I have experienced more negativity, more cruelty, more hate than I was ever prepared for...... So my mom asks how do you deal with that.......I respond....Those that mind will never and/or don't deserve to play a significant role in my life to matter.... And those that matter, they see this... -the bigger my muscles get, -the more my smile grows, -the larger my ridiculousness becomes ......... the brighter I shine.....regardless of who finds it aesthetically appealing or not. #youvsyou