Be your own #transformationtuesday Every. Day.
OVERALL RATING
Be your own #transformationtuesday Every. Day. A. 2 days out from the stage April 2013 B. 6 months post comp January 11, 2014 C. NOW Success is not linear....in fact for me it's been worse than that of a tangled necklace sitting in the jewelry box. It's obvious that picture B was at a point in my life where I was living a very dark place...the thought of ever loving myself again would put a rotting knot in my stomach... The disappointment and shame I felt towards my own body for what I had done to it shot hopelessness through every molecule in me. I was desperate for quick fixes in hopes of returning to picture A....and when nothing was quick enough I resorted back to my little dark hole (in the pantry) worse off then when I started. I was good at putting on a front, and acting like I still felt as I did in picture A while secretly living with my head in the gutter, trying to purge the guilt, embarrassment, failure that I held inside of me. The idea of picture C simply did not exist, in fact I couldn't even comprehend such a thought. That's what happens when you forget to believe in yourself. Acceptance of what has happened is always the first step to overcoming any setback. It wasn't until I decided to give up the image of picture A, and see past the self-induced flaws of picture B, and believe that I was worthy, capable and deserving of picture C, that change began to set it's course "Today I train to defeat the wo(man) who couldn't do it yesterday and tomorrow I will train to do even better than the wo(man) who did it today"" Jill #neversurrender