keep it real

Thursday: Check in day- I ******* hate check in day. A day when everything you have been doing over the last 14 days comes into question. Where any self doubt over your efforts will be exposed in the next 7 minutes(approximate time it takes me to measure all the required points). Your either gonna happy dance your way back to the computer to report or curse rapidly in complete awe over the results. So here goes nothing...waist- same, bust- same, arms- same, legs-bigger, everything else same same same....(insert huge EFF bomb). I can feel the anxiety crawling in my throat as that piece of metal stares up at me with it's blinking 0:00's....on I go.....same..190lbs to be exact(yes I said 190lbs- not a typo). For a moment... A brief moment I cave...I forget every bit of grind I put in over the last 2 weeks, I forget the compliance to my plan I was so proud to adhere to, I forget the long days I put in and longer nights, I forget about large grocery bills I endured and frequent trips to Costco I made, I forget about the prep hours and the countless moments of measuring I did, I forget about the early morning gym sessions before the sun even fathomed to rise, I forget about the callouses on my hands from the PR's I hit, I forget about the blisters on my feet from making the stepper my *****, I forget about all of that and for a brief moment I allow that check in to define to my worth... And then I remember that only I can decide what defines my worth. I am more than 190lbs with 26inch legs...I am chasing more than simply a fit body but rather a fit mind, and when I learn to live beyond the numbers then my body will take care of itself. This is ME this week and that's as good as any check in needs to be.... #keepitreal #dontgiveup #thisislife

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