throwback thursday

I still can’t believe it sometimes. Especially since when I stand naked in front of a mirror and my body doesn’t look like those Andrew Christian, Aronik, Code 22 swimsuit models or a Tom of Finland character. The scale don’t show what my doctors say it should either but when I put on my clothes and see those sizes and my pants say 32/34 instead of 40 it blows my mind. Even my rings are too big. I still find myself getting XL online only to say, darn it, I wish I’d ordered large and even sometimes medium. What I’m trying to say is, even with the aches and pains of getting older and the daily negative thoughts my brain throws at it, like catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and find myself saying out loud, *****! I stop myself and say, STOP! And replace it with a positive thought or word or I post a story like this. It’s a slow but steady process.

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