I had been a fairly athletic child. I involved myself in sports such as water skiing and gymnastics and had noticed that I was somewhat strong. You never realize what your strength may be needed for in the future, but it is a great foundation to start with. I found out shortly after my husband and I were married that I would need that strength to carry my husband; literally. Young and energetic about life we were married and knew that life was full of opportunity. Then disaster struck and Jim was diagnosed with a brain tumor at age 24. Inoperable according to some neurosurgeons, I wondered what we were supposed to do; wait for him to die? We found a surgeon who was willing to attempt the extraction of the brain tumor. The neurosurgeon discovered during surgery that he would not be able to extract all of it as it was attached to the brain stem. The after affect of this invasive surgery was challenging. Through epidural hematomas, subdural hematomas, pneumonia, and other complications too numerous to mention, we began his rehabilitation. I had been given brochures for "skilled nursing facilities" because the doctors didn't think he was going to progress. Well, my miracle hubby progressed, ever so slowly, but he progressed. It took him 3 months to relearn how to talk (still struggles with being completely understood as he slurs a bit) and it took him a year to relearn how to walk. Technically he should be using a walker even today but his pride and desire for independence (you may call stubbornness LOL) keeps him from using one.

During this tragic time I used food to cope. It was literally my ONLY pleasure. I think I had a love affair with the local mexican restaurant and their Ultimate Nachos! Brownies and cookies were my friend too. My once somewhat athletic body shifted to an obese body, topped with pregnancy and stretch marks. Looking in the mirror only made me more depressed and led me to eat more. This was the start of a vicious cycle of bingeing and dieting.

I had always had a fascination with the women bodybuilders from the 1980/90s. I had poured through muscle magazines in the early 1990s and thought maybe one day I could compete. I never really believed I could do it until I made a change back in 2000 when I read the book Body for Life. Believe it or not, I lost 100 pounds and competed in amateur bodybuilding after a year and a half of training. I set out to win the Colorado State Title. It took me 3 years to do it and I got the Colorado State Bodybuilding Championship ring... a dream come true! Little did I know that I would not be able to maintain my physique.

Through an excruciating back injury that kept me out of the gym and having to cope with my hubby's disability needs, I used excuses to not exercise and to eat poorly. My weight ballooned to 255 lbs on this 5' 6" frame. It shames me to admit I was even considering gastric bypass! I managed to get my back problem fixed (the GREATEST relief EVER!) And I gradually got back to the gym and managed to gradually reduce the quantity of food I was eating and lose 50 pounds over the course of 2 years. I was VERY happy that I didn't do it too fast as was able to modify lifestyle choices permanently. Then I was poking around on bodybuilding.com and saw the 100K Dymatize challenge! I upped my game and started working harder in the gym and eating with more discipline. I finished the challenge so proud of my accomplishment! It was then that a bodybuilding friend mentioned an upcoming natural bodybuilding show in just three weeks from my after picture date! I decided it was time to make a comeback and compete again. Ten years from my last Colorado State victory, I took the Colorado state bodybuilding title again! I surely did not expect to win the title after just getting back into the sport.

Update: My former husband left me in 2013. While we have an amicable divorce, it still caused me a great amount of grief. After 22 years of marriage I was stunned. Now it is 2017 and I have met an amazing man. We were married in 2016 and I couldn't be happier!

In the past I had tried to “lose weight” to look better for my husband, or to surprise my parents by being “skinny”, but I finally realized I needed to do this for me. People like Cory Everson and Monica Brant showed me what types of physiques I could potentially have, but ultimately it had to be me who wanted to change.

Other motivational factors were: trying to be the best example for my daughter, repeating mottos like “prove it can be done” and “no compromise”, I also would look for the person in the gym who was training the hardest and try to push harder than they were, I wanted to leave the gym knowing I gave it my all and had nothing left to give each day.

I poured over all of the transformation pictures on bodybuilding.com and other sites. The normal everyday people inspired me to change. I realized that I didn’t see pictures of someone like me, a female, who had a lot of bodyfat to lose who wanted to completely transform and look like a bodybuilder. It was almost as if someone spoke to me and said, “It needs to be you, Pam, to prove it can be done.” I got goosebumps and knew I had a mission to accomplish.

Throughout my transformation I have used the different Body Groups and Body Space on bodybuilding.com to communicate with “like minded” people. After hanging out on-line and reading some of the more experienced gym goers, I realized that not only was I learning about what methods work and don’t work but I was being motivated and challenged by these people! I began to look forward to reporting my workouts to the group because of all the encouragement they gave. They also joked and prodded me when needed. I really feel like my BodySpace friends are my friends for life. We have even talked about setting up a time and place to meet in person and have a sort of reunion. Another thing that happened while I posted messages in these Body Groups is I realized that my messages would reach a specific person and help motivate them. Sharing workouts, menu items, jokes, goals, and just the added support helped me the most in completing this transformation.