Bodybuilding.com - sweetpoizon's BodySpace

I have always been into fitness and health. At one point, eating right and working out was a part of my daily regimen. My outer beauty and inner beauty used to equate to one beautiful being. Co-workers and friends would ask me; how was I able to juggle being a mom, a wife, having a career and staying in shape. At that point in my life I knew it was important for me to take care of me FIRST, in order for me to be able to take care of anyone else and or handle the stresses of working outside of the home. I made time for me each and every day. I was up at 4am packing my food and preparing food for my family, by 5:30am I was at the gym and back home to get my family ready by 7:20am. This was my routine and no matter what I didn’t let anything that could wait interfere with my; me time. My husband and I had decided to give up our day jobs and open up a Steel Business. Boy oh boy the stresses of running your own business. However, I was still at the top of my game. More success and we decided to add on to our growth and we opened up 2 daycares. Yep, more stress but still on top of my game. The businesses were growing and so was our family. I had my second son. No problems there everything went beautiful and 2 weeks later I returned back to work as my husband's right hand woman ;). I even managed to be bathing suit ready for a family vacation to Brazil 5mos after the birth of Izaia. Change as usual comes even when we are not ready. My world to me that I had known to be perfect changed overnight. I had everything that I thought I needed and wanted. The world's best husband that I believed God created just for me, 2 beautiful healthy little boys, success, the home of my dreams with the white picket fence and the Yorkshire Terrier. Our stay in Brazil was supposed to last for 4 weeks and on the 16th day tragedy struck and my life changed forever. My husband had a boating accident and drowned. Not only did I lose my best friend in Brazil, I also lost me. When I returned back to VA I couldn’t do anything except sleep. I didn’t leave the house actually I didn’t leave the bedroom. I would put my oldest son on the school bus and the baby and I would sleep all day. I would wake up hungry and order food. I started eating crap that I never ate in the past and before you knew it, I packed on the pounds. Everything I once enjoyed doing, I gave up. Through the greatness of God and the love of my children I finally got it together to function and I even went back to the gym. However, I never really got that passion back or willpower. I became an on and off member at my local gym. So, I would drop the weight and then gain it back. However, I know I am so much better than that. My goal is to gain control over my health again. I would like to lose about 40lbs, gain some muscle and strength. I am dying to see my abs again. My confidence has been lost but I am making it my mission to find it. I want to be an example to my boys. Being the caretaker and the person responsible for their lives, I want to make sure I am setting some good examples for them. This is so important to me and it’s no longer an option. Fueling my body with junk and not exercising, I am slowly killing myself and my children as well. I want to be able to run 5 miles again, chase my 4 year old around the park and tackle my 14 year old. I want my life back! This is the rebirth of Sweet Poizon!