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Well i recently had a very big "fitness" fall out, what i like to call it. Last July, I decided to train for a Figure competition, no BS, the real deal. I made a Choice, and that was to push my body to the limits, change it, and compete on stage! I dieted for 2 months, I was in decent shape to begin with, so I figured i would need about 12 - 16 weeks to be show ready! The First month was to gain size. I was in shape, But my Upper body lacked size, I wanted to be proportioned well so i decided to take some Supplements to make me gain size. I ate the "USUAL" figure diet, 6 meals, eggwhites, oats, shakes ,chicken breast & brown rice...nothin ever changed except maybe the flavors of my water :) haha Nehoo...they say it takes 21 days to create a habit, and those first 3 wks were crucial for me. Nonetheless, that theory has proven to be true in my eyes, after the 3 wks were up, It became an addiction. My days never changed, I was working with my dad's business, going to school full time,and waitressing at Applebees all along doing the Diet & getting in all my Weight training & Cardio...I felt so successful. My normal body weight on avg. was always about 110 lbs, it went up to 117 that first month, and then slowly began to drop as my calories dropped & i began the "cutting" phase of my diet. I was looking great...I almost couldnt believe it was me in the mirror. For the first time in my life, i didnt have to try on a million things the nite b4 work, just to make sure any body parts werent fallin over or out of my jeans or shirt. It was something so new to me, and the change was a good one.
So Your wondering, where is the Fall out in all this?? Its actually a very ironic story. But in the end, my present status is actually doing great. Physically, its slowly progressing but emotionally, I have never felt so great in my lifetime.
Before i state this, i would like to CONGRATULATE all the Fitness, Figure & BBer Competitors out there. You deserve a huge Pat on the Back for everything you are able to endure, everything you have accomplished, and the major choice you have made to make PUSHING YOUR LIMITS, your LIFESTYLE. Everyone is capable of losing weight, of gaining muscle, of looking and feeling better. But ONLY A SMALL HANDFUL OF GREAT INDIVIDUALS are capable of Doin it for COMPETITIVE REASONS. We all have limits, for some, it may seem like we are invincible, becuz we have managed to push & push & continue to...But the truth is, EMOTIONALLY, a person can only handle so much. I often wonder back 6 months ago what happened when i made that decision to stop my training....Its always baffled me because, I never knew, & probably will never know, whether it wasthe diet that had me weary & weak, or if it was just my Emotional Limits. See, I didnt socialize much during those 2months, and although it may only have been 2months (which is nothing, i know, compared to you brave competitors) but it took its toll on me. I gave in, I just wanted to feel normal again.I wanted to feel like ME, because the truth is and always be, that Im an Adventurous, perky, big eatin, wine drinkin, young social butterfly who loves to go get drunk everyonce in awhile, have a night of fun with friends, she loves to dance the night away and attend BBQ's. Stuff her face every now & then, eat that ChocChipCookie, Endulge in that Steak w/Potatos!!! :) haha I believe there was also a number of things that contributed to my Weight Gain. I was in a relationship during my training days, & it fell apart. I wasnt enjoying school, and I stopped going. My Bills began to pile on me, and life just didnt seem like a GOOD THING anymore.I am a very emotional person, I always OUTWEIGH the BAD with the GOOD in people & events...but that isnt the case in this thing we call life. Because there ARE bad People out there, and BAD things do happen to GOOD people, but if there is one thing i learned during my training days, is that WITH GOOD THOUGHTS COME GOOD THINGS.A POSITIVE thinking person, Recieves POSITIVE THINGS. And that is why I was able to even endure those 2 months.Im also An EMOTIONAL EATER, and all these things occuring did not help...I caved. I allowed a Negative thought to enter my mind, and with it,came all the bad...I Began to Drink so much,Partying was my thing,and even though It Felt great Being with Friends again, and going out doing things the AVG. 20 yr old does, it still wasnt fitting. I was gaining weight so fast, eating my feelings because when i wasnt out & about, drinkin & smoking, I was depressed eating everything i could get my hands on.Now with Supplements, especially Steroid Derived Muscle Gaining Supplements, it is PROVEN that if you do not cycle off correctly, you will possibly gain twice as much, perhaps even more in some cases, weight than you lost to begin with. You guessed it, thats exactly what happend. I was weighing 121 lbs. Well over my Avg. 105 fit self. My body had never looked so bad.My weight has ALMOST ALWAYS fluctuated, after I hit my sophomore year in HighSchool, I went thru many phases, but for the most part, I always managed to get back to my great shape. This weight gain was different though, it had RESHAPED my ENTIRE BODY. Nothing looked familiar in the Mirror anymore. My Legs had ALWAYS been Thick with Good Definition, even before I started training.Those years of Competitive cheerleading did them well. But not even my LEGS(which have always been my pride & joy) were in good shape...I could see signs of Cellulite, something i HAD NEVER EVER Seen in my life. Good lord, it was just horrible.
Well, through all this "BAD PHASE" I was rekindled with an old flame, my JR YEAR PROM DATE, and a long time Friend. He changed my life, turned it upside down, and for the BETTER. Just like i had my fall out, i had fallen again, but this time, into the arms of someone who truly deserved me,...& I FELL IN LOVE. Its been 7 months of bliss & it just keeps gettin better all the time. He has helped me get through this SELF IMAGE Issue, and Im slowly beginning to lead a healthier life, like i always had.He is my ROCK, and he has ReIntroduced me to the WOMAN i thought i would never be again...The strong, beautiful,intelligent Raquel I have always & always will be. And although i hit a bump in the road, I was able to overcome it with his generous love & help.We have moved to Houston, its been almost 4 months now...we have GREAT JOBS, Good Health, & A FAMILY That loves & Supports us so much. You know, i say this with the utmost sincerity, WE NEVER KNOW WHAT WE HAVE UNTIL IT IS GONE, UNTIL IT IS TAKEN FROM US...SOMETIMES THAT ALSO APPLIES TO US IN A GOOD WAY, BECAUSE AT TIMES WE HAVE "BAD" in OUR LIVES, & UNTIL IT IS FINALLY TAKEN FROM US, WE ARE BLESSED WITH "GOOD". And that is what carries me through.Something else I Learned along the way, is that people walk in & out of your life all the time, there are reasons for that...if you look hard enough at all the signs, GOD will leave you with the FEW & GREAT that ACTUALLY NEED YOU IN THERES'.My family never treated me different after having gained 15lbs. If someone loves you for who you REALLY ARE, it doesnt matter whether you are 100lbs or 200lbs(which is NOT a healthy weight if you are my height,fyi LOL)but they will be there til the end regardless the situation.
"MY GOAL IS TO BE HAPPY,TO BE POSITIVE,TO DO GREAT THINGS IN THIS LIFE,& TO TAKE CARE OF MY BODY THROUGH THE ENTIRE ADVENTURE"
Im not dying to be a size 0, & I am definitly not going to kill myself if I have an occasional Ice Cream treat...BUT I will eat healthy, & I will take care of my body. We have to remember, its the ONLY ONE we have, & GOD was Gracious enough to give us the choice on how we treat it, so Treat yours Well.
Sincerely,
RAQUEL |
