I was always the 'fat kid' growing up. 7 years ago, my sophomore year of high school, I was 5' 10'' 250 lbs and I was a very depressed boy. during high school my grandmother suddenly passed away, she was hugely obese and her short life was due to that. My grandmother had lived a few miles away from me my entire life and i was very very close to her.. she woke up with a leg ache one morning and passed away 2 hrs later. her death was very unexpected and hit me hard, the very next holiday was easter and while staring at my easter basket full of goodies I was disgusted in myself and couldn't stand to think i was about to eat all the candy in that basket.. So I told myself I would set the basket aside and make the candy last a while and not bloat myself with chocolate easter bunnies.. That was the last time that I have ever touched candy, soda, desserts, anything of the sort. A combination of depression from my own obesity and realization from my grandmothers I decided then that I needed to change my lifestyle, Not just so that I could like what I see in the mirror but more importantly that I can one day be in good health and not risk losing my life, literally, over junk food. From that day I was determined and I started dieting right away, I got my first golds gym membership and went to the gym right away without knowing what I was doing. During this summer is when I also saw 'pumping iron' and my mentality switched from skinny to muscle. I wanted to have a body capable of doing things ive never done before, a body capable of touching a rim of a basketball hoop, a body capable of running a sub 10:00 mile, a body capable of benching 150 lbs! These all sound like simple goals but for an obese teen that could only bench 90 lbs. I knew I had a lot of work to do, I had caught the bug, I was addicted to fitness! Over the next year I dropped dramatic weight, my body responded well to the gym and during my junior year of high school I reached all my goals I had set for myself and I had lost 100 lbs. 40% of my body weight id lost and I felt great! But I was addicted to the gym and I set further goals for myself and strived to reach them as well and slowly but surely over the next 2.5 years I gained muscle and was a very lean, very fit, very happy 175 lb. high school graduate. The next part of my story deals with the opposite end of the spectrum. A year and a half after graduation I left my girlfriend and family and friends to serve a mission for my church in another part of the country, I devoted myself to what was asked of me and was not permitted (nor did i have time) to go to the gym. During my mission I didnt have time or money to properly eat, I never went back to junk food, never will, but I found myself not eating enough calories and not getting the right amounts of proteins and carbs that i needed. Poor nutrition was only a small part of what my body went through at this time. Without properly being able to take car of my body I once again became depressed and felt like I had lost control and was once again going to lose what I had fought so hard to earn. The only portion of my physical well being i could control was my diet, not so much what I eat (due to time and money and demands of the mission) but how much of it I ate. I slowly cut back portions, and I loved the results, I became very lean and for me being lean was the best I could do for the time being. But I took it too far, I cut back more and more, and towards the end was on a 600 calorie diet. I knew what I was doing was wrong and unhealthy but the fear of being fat again was too much for me and I forced my body to get smaller and smaller and i still wasnt satisfied. I was still depressed. I still didnt like my body. And through this depression and bad eating I found myself at 6 feet tall and weighing 128 lbs. In the end I pushed myself too far and my body gave up on me, I didnt have the energy to get out of bed, to get myself ready, to smile, or to eat. It was a low of lows for me and I relied on self mutilation and the adrenaline from that to ease my mind and my fears. I knew something had to be done and I made the difficult decision to come back home to my family and loved ones and try to get the support I needed to get myself better. That day I came home will be three years ago this coming January. To sum up my story ive gained 60 lbs back of good health weight, I love who I am and strive daily to perfect my health. I set new goals every day and work to achieve them.. I dont set new goals to look better in a mirror or to get 'the ladies'. I set goals to prove to myself that I can do it, I can have the health I want, I can be there for my loved ones and grow old and health, and my ultimate goal? I wanna look good in my casket :) I wanna live a full life and not let my body hinder that life and when it comes to an end, I wanna be smiling knowing that I did everything I could to live large and die happy. The end :) (pictures from my 'skinney phase' are all old school film and I will try to get some up soon)

Its the best part of my day. Its 'me time'. Nobody bugs me, nobody criticizes me, the iron doesn't talk back, its just time I have every day to clear my mind and let my body do the work.