Pamela

Female

53

United States

Student of Life

Home Gym
Fargo, ND
United States

Nov, 2006

I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror at my naked body and CRIED! I remember thinking what the hell happened to me...my butt was having an intimate relationship with the back of my thighs! I honestly couldn't tell where my butt ended and my thighs began! I also couldn't handle the flappy wings I'd developed under my arms when I raised them (they were supposed to be triceps, NOT WINGS!! LOL) so one month before my 50th b-day I went in the basement and hit my son's weights, I haven't looked back. I took up pole dancing at 51(I'm self taught) to enhance my weight training and discovered how much faster I gained strength, agility, and flexibility, and it makes me feel good to be able to hang upside down by my thighs or one knee at age 53! I had had pretty much chronic low back pain and found it was because of a weak core...well the pole dancing cured that, I've not had low back pain/problems since. I recently gave up my nursing career and am now working part time in one of the most exclusive private women’s fitness/spas in our city as a group fitness instructor. I also own my own business It's All About You Fitness and Pole Fun. I have private clients that I teach, it is a fun alternative to traditional workouts and because it is low impact anyone can do it no matter what there fitness level. If there's anything else you'd like to know, just ask!

It's the only thing in my life I have control over, changing and improving my body...makes me feel empowered and sexy for the first time in my life!

I am 28 years clean and sober. I have always been a very private person but as I was reflecting on the past years I’ve decided to share a brief history of how I became who and what I am today…the events that have driven me to become and continue to become the best human being I can be! I was born into poverty to a violent alcoholic father and an abusive mother. My father was twenty years older than my mother, she was 19 when I was born. I am the eldest of 4 girls. I was not a wanted child by my mother, I know this because she told me I was the product of her “doing her duty” as a wife and that she would never love me. I was never held, hugged or kissed as a child by my parents. I was molested at age 4 by a relative that was staying with us. I told my mother and she accused me of being a slut (I didn’t even know what that meant at the time) and beat me with a belt for “teasing” him. I was responsible for caring for my almost 3 yr old sister(I was 4 1/2 at that time) and when she was kidnapped from our yard my mother beat me and told me I was never to tell anyone that I was babysitting her. She lied to my father and the police. They did find my sister 14 hours later. She had been molested and left on a bridge in downtown Mpls. I never had friends growing up because I wasn’t allowed to. I never learned social skills as a child however I did excel in school, until I reached junior high. I was 11 ½ when I got into 7th grade. I had all of the household and childcare responsibilities and still trying to get homework done (which was impossible with all my responsibilities). My mother felt it was time I started paying room and board so she got me a babysitting job after school..3-midnite for $20.00 a week caring for 6 small children, she collected the money from me every Friday night when I got home. I would come home everyday beat up so the school made arrangements for me to arrive 15 late in the morning and leave 15 minutes early at the end of the day. Why was this happening? We were one of the 1st schools to be integrated for desegregation…8 black students were bused to our school. I became good friends with them….not something you did back then or in my neighborhood. The kids in my neighborhood beat me for that reason. I discovered drugs at that point and starting using to get rid of my feelings of pain an worthlessness, I also started to drink….my grades were slipping quickly and the school didn’t know what to do with me, I was a bloody mess most of the time from being attacked in the hallways or the girls bathroom. I was raped that year and told no one (it wasn’t like it is today), my mother beat for ruining my clothes from “fighting”. When I got into high school, I was 15...I was transferred out of my district because the school where I lived didn’t want me…the principal said I was too much trouble and they didn’t want “my kind” in their school. I went t to the guidance counselor in my new school and asked for help regarding my home life…she took me to Family and Children Services but back then they scheduled home appoints…not surprise visits. They said after talking to my mom that I was the problem….my counselor told me off the record that if she was me she’d take her chances in the street. So I did, my 3rd week in 10th grade I ran away from home and never looked back. I moved in with a man 10 yrs older than me and we were married illegally. I had all false documents…my life was ok for awhile but my usage was escalating I tried to kill myself 3 times and was intercepted every time. To shorten the rest of the long story…I left my abusive husband and moved to another state, did 3 years of high school in 50 hours and passed my GED with high scores in 1980...I fought to get into college for an additional 11 years because the nursing programs didn’t want me with my background, I wasn’t socially acceptable! The wrong background etc. I did finally after agreeing to 2 psych evals. Get into one of the toughest nursing programs. I was remarried in 1982 and had 2 small children by the time I got into college, I was working nights as a CNA. I commuted 100 miles round trip every day, worked nights and still took care of my kids, I don’t remember when I slept. I graduated and passed my boards. I have had a lot of things happen in my life that have made me a stronger compassionate human being, do I regret them…absolutely not! There are many things I’m not proud of and horrible things that have happened to me, that should never happen to any human being…however if I were to change even one second of the past I would not be who, what, and where I am today! I am not looking for pity or sympathy, just acceptance as a person. I am a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic. This is my main motivation….and when I feel like I can’t push any more I just look back and say “YES I CAN!” Positive people encourage me, negative people challenge me to want to be even better…and my adult children who are proud of me!! I have an AMAZING friend that has been encouraging me and supporting my efforts! You know who you are, THANK YOU!!!!

Put on some muscle, dropped some bf all without a gym or a trainer! For me it's an accomplishment, I'm featured on efitnesspad.com

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!" Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it.