Personal Info
How I Started
I was always the 'fat kid' growing up. 7 years ago, my sophomore year of high school, I was 5' 10'' 250 lbs and I was a very depressed boy. during high school my grandmother suddenly passed away, she was hugely obese and her short life was due to that. My grandmother had lived a few miles away from me my entire life and i was very very close to her.. she woke up with a leg ache one morning and passed away 2 hrs later. her death was very unexpected and hit me hard, the very next holiday was easter and while staring at my easter basket full of goodies I was disgusted in myself and couldn't stand to think i was about to eat all the candy in that basket.. So I told myself I would set the basket aside and make the candy last a while and not bloat myself with chocolate easter bunnies.. That was the last time that I have ever touched candy, soda, desserts, anything of the sort. A combination of depression from my own obesity and realization from my grandmothers I decided then that I needed to change my lifestyle, Not just so that I could like what I see in the mirror but more importantly that I can one day be in good health and not risk losing my life, literally, over junk food.
From that day I was determined and I started dieting right away, I got my first golds gym membership and went to the gym right away without knowing what I was doing. During this summer is when I also saw 'pumping iron' and my mentality switched from skinny to muscle. I wanted to have a body capable of doing things ive never done before, a body capable of touching a rim of a basketball hoop, a body capable of running a sub 10:00 mile, a body capable of benching 150 lbs! These all sound like simple goals but for an obese teen that could only bench 90 lbs. I knew I had a lot of work to do, I had caught the bug, I was addicted to fitness!
Over the next year I dropped dramatic weight, my body responded well to the gym and during my junior year of high school I reached all my goals I had set for myself and I had lost 100 lbs. 40% of my body weight id lost and I felt great! But I was addicted to the gym and I set further goals for myself and strived to reach them as well and slowly but surely over the next 2.5 years I gained muscle and was a very lean, very fit, very happy 175 lb. high school graduate.
The next part of my story deals with the opposite end of the spectrum. A year and a half after graduation I left my girlfriend and family and friends to serve a mission for my church in another part of the country, I devoted myself to what was asked of me and was not permitted (nor did i have time) to go to the gym. During my mission I didnt have time or money to properly eat, I never went back to junk food, never will, but I found myself not eating enough calories and not getting the right amounts of proteins and carbs that i needed. Poor nutrition was only a small part of what my body went through at this time. Without properly being able to take car of my body I once again became depressed and felt like I had lost control and was once again going to lose what I had fought so hard to earn. The only portion of my physical well being i could control was my diet, not so much what I eat (due to time and money and demands of the mission) but how much of it I ate. I slowly cut back portions, and I loved the results, I became very lean and for me being lean was the best I could do for the time being. But I took it too far, I cut back more and more, and towards the end was on a 600 calorie diet. I knew what I was doing was wrong and unhealthy but the fear of being fat again was too much for me and I forced my body to get smaller and smaller and i still wasnt satisfied. I was still depressed. I still didnt like my body. And through this depression and bad eating I found myself at 6 feet tall and weighing 128 lbs. In the end I pushed myself too far and my body gave up on me, I didnt have the energy to get out of bed, to get myself ready, to smile, or to eat. It was a low of lows for me and I relied on self mutilation and the adrenaline from that to ease my mind and my fears. I knew something had to be done and I made the difficult decision to come back home to my family and loved ones and try to get the support I needed to get myself better.
That day I came home will be three years ago this coming January. To sum up my story ive gained 60 lbs back of good health weight, I love who I am and strive daily to perfect my health. I set new goals every day and work to achieve them.. I dont set new goals to look better in a mirror or to get 'the ladies'. I set goals to prove to myself that I can do it, I can have the health I want, I can be there for my loved ones and grow old and health, and my ultimate goal? I wanna look good in my casket :) I wanna live a full life and not let my body hinder that life and when it comes to an end, I wanna be smiling knowing that I did everything I could to live large and die happy. The end :)
(pictures from my 'skinney phase' are all old school film and I will try to get some up soon)
Why I Love it
Its the best part of my day. Its 'me time'. Nobody bugs me, nobody criticizes me, the iron doesn't talk back, its just time I have every day to clear my mind and let my body do the work.