so here is a crappy cell phone pic until I get a camera. A hefty 166.....but I feel like a woman!

I had topped out at about 250 lbs or more. My body hurt, to say the very least. I had gastric reflux and sleep apnea. I also had severe and crippling lower back pain from the discs in my lower back. They were quickly deteriorating from the pressure on my spine. Because of chest pains and shooting pains down my arm I had my blood levels tested. My cholesterol and triglycerides were through the roof! I was a bad case of diabetes, stroke, and heart disease waiting to happen!

Don't I look sad? The real me was in there, but was lost in fat, and a struggle for my self-esteem, which had gotten lost in motherhood and good intentions.

I changed my diet to include protein. I began writing down everything that I ate, and keeping an exercise diary. I also began journaling to sort out my true feelings about my life, my spirituality, my sexuality, and myself. I gleefully slaved away, 2 hours a day, at the gym, for over a year and a half, and I lost 75 lbs. A new me was born! Although I was still about 165, I had come a very long way. I started taking cheesecake pictures like crazy! :)

I started posting my pictures on websites like hotornot.com, as I needed inspiration and had no better forum. This was prior to discovering bodybuilding.com of course! :) I knew it was superficial, but it felt fantastic to get positive feedback for all of my hard work, after having been unattractive for so long.

I had lost a tremendous amount of weight, and with that came changes both in body and mind! This former, died in the wool, anti-silicone agendist, decided that the girls needed some help! This lady was going for implants! Losing a dramatic amount of breast tissue had caused me to plateau, as I was fearful of what changes my body would bring next.

Though my implants increased my body confidence, I still remained at a tremendously long plateau. Losing a very large amount of weight leaves it's effects on the body. It seemed I was fighting a never ending battle of trying to refill my skin with muscle, to replace the tremendous amount of fat I had lost. I finally had to decide, "Am I going to take this the rest of the way, or am I going to choose to be content where I am today?" After almost a year of yo-yo'ing between 155-165, I decided I was finally ready to take the chance... Come what may!

I reached my first major body goal of losing 100 pounds on March 1, 2007! It took me almost 2& 1/2 years to do so. Because I took the weight off slowly, the skin damage is minimal, though still a constant concern, mainly on my back and upper thighs. However, where there is a will there is a way! I will face whatever challenges that arise, when they arise. My final word on the subject is this! If I can do this, anybody can! Self-love will take you far. You are worth it, so begin it! I also want to take a moment to thank bodybuilding.com for giving me a safe and friendly forum to blog, vent, and share my progress with a community of like minded persons. Bodybuilding to me is pure gold. It took this very obese, depressed individual, and turned her back into the self confident and happy woman she had known before.

9 months later, and I am actually up 15 pounds since my last progress pic. I don't know if you can call that progress. But...I do like the appearance of my biceps, back and chest in this shot.

Same date as the last shot. Even though I am a chubbi-kins, I love the separation you can see between my delt and my bicep. And no,....I am not pushing my bicep up with my other arm. Though I did do that when I was a kid. ....I've come a long way baby!

I have lost 16 pounds since I began the bodybuilding.com transformation contest just 37 days ago! READY FOR MORE!

End of week 11 in transformation contest. Definitely leaner, but also losing some curves.

This is the end of 13 weeks of competition style dieting and double workouts. Body Transformation, 2008. I went from 157 lbs on Dec 26, 2007, to 130 lbs on March 26, 2008.

Home Sweat Home. Weighing in at a strong, proud, healthily rotund, 152.

I spend the week relaxing and what do they do but start an Iron Man Contest without me. Sheesh! Could someone send a freaking memo?

BodySpace/Iron Man Spokesmodel Search 2008.

Bed and breakfast. Iron Man/BodySpace Spokemodel Search 2008.

Weighing about 153.

"The New Before". Hell. If this is letting myself go...I'll take it!

Lifting like a man so I can look like a woman. 161 lbs.

Still going strong.

From my shoot with Brian Moss. Totally honored.

so here is a crappy cell phone pic until I get a camera. A hefty 166.....but I feel like a woman!