Last Visit: Today, 11:13am Last Forum Post: Jan 23, 2009 10:34am Last Photo Upload: Oct 14, 2009 8:39pm Last Profile Update: Today, 8:49am Last Blog Post: Nov 17, 2009 9:10pm
Overall Goal: Started out at 206 pounds 5 weeks ago. Photo on the left? 178 pounds. I molded myself from big gym monster to underwear guy in 5 f-cking weeks. How about that? 28 pounds. Whammo. Gone.
You may not know this about me, but I was conceived through artificial insemination.
Yes, the doctor sopped up some semen from a test tube via the old turkey baster, shoved it into my mom's tutu and gave it a squeeze.
At any rate, while I was hanging out in the squeezy part of the turkey baster with the other sperm cells, I noticed that my little wiggly tail was small and lacked definition. I vowed then and there that if I was the lucky sperm to hit the egg, I would spend my lifetime working out so that I would never feel inadequate again.
As fate would have it, I was the lucky sperm (Back then I was known as Herm the Sperm) and I started doing calisthenics while I was in the womb.
When I was born and the doctor slapped me I said "You do that again, and I'll tear your f-cking head off."
The rest was history. True story.
That would be a great practical joke if the doctor brought home the turkey baster and gave it to his wife to use in the kitchen. Wouldn't that be a real knee slapper?
Why I Love It:
When I'm adjusting the weights. There's something about putting that big solid Olympic bar through the hole in the plates that makes me feel all frisky. Maybe it's subliminal.
How I Stay Motivated:
Before I go to the gym, I am my own cheerleader. In fact, I dress up in a cheerleader costume with pom-poms and everything and do a whole Rah Rah "Go Herm go" thing. Then after that, I dress up as a nurse and give myself an enema with Bosco chocolate syrup, and then I dress up as Madam Butterfly and pinch my nipples real hard with a pair of chopsticks. Then I change into my usual gym clothes and I'm ready and rarin'to go! Charge!
BB Accomplishments:
I've taught a lot of men how to get in touch with their feminine sides. When they see me shirtless in the locker room all pumped and veiny and glistening with sweat, and then look at themselves, they begin to cry like little girls. I always offer them a Kleenex to dry their eyes and they are thankful; but when they see it is not a Kleenex, but in fact a piece of used toilet paper, they get all pissed. I swear, People need to lighten up.
Forum Signature:
I am my competition. Failure is not an option. There is no easy way.
1985, my foot! This is 1979. Here I am, disco dude, more like disco dud. Sunken chest, and skinny guys belly--still thought I had it going on. For God's sake Hermie, do something about that pathetic patch of chest hair, either get rid of it or go whole hog and get an Austin Powers Chest toupee (and ...
Started out at 206 pounds 5 weeks ago. Photo on the left? 178 pounds. I molded myself from big gym monster to underwear guy in 5 f-cking weeks. How about that? 28 pounds. Whammo. Gone.
Goal (Long):
To become Jew of the Month.
Weight Goal:
I want to GAIN 756 lb
Bodyfat Goal:
99%
Upcoming Contest:
Jew of the Month
Last Updated: Yesterday, 6:45pm
Members That Inspire HermTheWorm:
HermTheWorm does not have inspirational members yet.
Description: Can a 48 year old Jew be too sexy? Apparently.
New Project 11
Played: 394
Description: Trying on my custom made chef's jackets for my cooking show coming to Youtube, BB.com and local cable this fall.
Hey girls, this is for you!
Played: 380
Description: I am available for Bachelorette parties, sweet sixteens, bat mitzvahs, funerals, circumcisions and hot one on ones...And yes, I can twist my ding ding dong into funny animal shapes on request. S&M, bondage and dominance and water sports also available. My satisfaction rate is high and my morals are low. PM me. More filthy PMs will get booking priority over less filthy PMs. Act now, this is a limited time offer.
We live in more of a pussy generation now, where everybody’s become used to saying, “Well, how do we handle it psychologically?” In those days, you just punched the bully back and duked it out. Even if the guy was older and could push you around, at least you were respected for fighting back, and you’d be left alone from then on.
I don’t know if I can tell you exactly when the pussy generation started. Maybe when people started asking about the meaning of life.- Clint Eastwood
Herm - thanks. I just finished 900 walking lunges, did 2 sets of light squats and was thinking to just to cardio, because my legs are beat. Then I thought of what you've said about your workouts, and I'm pushed beyond. So thanks for the inspiration to push, push, push...
i really appreciate that. i hope i can take full advantage of that strong base and get shredded like the herm. hows the training been, another grueling week?
