Fernando

Male

29

United States

Musician, Carpenter, Independent Personal Trainer

Gold's Gym - Brownsville #1108
800 Sunrise Blvd
Brownsville, TX
United States

May, 2007

When I was about twelve years of age I had the opportunity to walk inside a High School Gym. A neighbor told me if I wanted to go lift weights at his School Gym. I remember him telling me, the weight room in his school was awesome.. So we rided our bikes all the way to his school. I was so excited to see what High School Gym was all about. When we got their I was shock to see the big guys lifting weights. They looked huge like my neighbor. I just sat their and watch how they trained. I just got hook on lifting weights. He told me to start lifting slow and light. 7 years ago my health and faith was tested. I battle lung cancer and a 14cm tumor next to my heart. I was on chemotherapy for one year. Getting worse by day. Crying and suffering but never giving up. If I wasn't inside a Hospital bed, I was attending Church. The doctor gave me twelve different chemotherapy for five days every night so strong he said it could kill an elephant. I also lost a lot of weight, so much I was around 140 pounds. I have always weight at 195 to 200 ponds. At the end of the year the lung cancer disappeared, but the tumor stayed the same and the numbers kept growing. A number they say it must decrease for the them to surgicaly remove without complications. A number that also indicates the tumor has shrunk.. But Instead it increased all year long, trying to spread to my heart. Doctors told me their was nothing they could for me anymore. The chemotherapy was to much given to me all year, that my body wouldn’t handle it anymore. Not to mention the side effects later in life. From kidney problems, heart problems or even loosing my teeth. The only thing left for them to do was to surgicaly remove the tumor and hope for the best. As for myself I had my faith that my body and my health belonged to Jesus. And if everything came right that day on surgery it was because that the way he wanted . I gave my life to Jesus.. One day before surgery I kneel down next to my bed and prayed to our father who are in Heaven and all around us. I told him dear God I am your child . Do with me what best for me in your eyes. Please forgive me for I have sin. I am not perfect, I never was. You understand the pain, I have been going threw. The night of pain, suffering, crying, and screaming why me. Trying to escape from the hospital in some occasions for not wanting anymore part of the medication. I am so tired, afraid put with faith because I know tomorrow morning you will be their with me in that room……. That day I felt something beautiful inside me that when I moved my hands on the bed I could even see white light . The lights were off and I was kneeled next to the bed. I saw light and it something I will never forget.. My surgery lasted eleven hours. So I was told by my family . When I finally woke up, I couldn’t even move or open my eyes. I heard noises all around me and music. People celebrating, laughing, and different tools noise. I could not move a finger or open my eyes. Being scared I did not know what was happening. I prayed and felt the tears running threw my chick. When sudenly I heard a voice telling me everything it okay. You are okay, relax everything went well. Later on I woke up in the intensive care room. So many tubes all around me. If I had to count them .I say I had like six or seven . Four in my stomach, one in my throat, another in my hand and one in my arm, last one in side threw my nose. And so much pain, Like no other I felt in my life.. They gave me morphine and steroids put the pain was so strong I could still feel it. When you are on Chemotherapy you feel so sick. You have no apatite, you feel weak, tired, headache, upset stomach,. Your mind is just not their. You see yourself lost. But these pain felt different. I felt I was getting ripped apart from my chest again. It hurts so much and even more that I could even talk with a huge tube inside my throat. Only tears in my eyes and face expressions was all I could do. The Doctor told me to give him a sign language if I felt pain . To move my hand if I was in pain. So I did, and every time I did they gave a different pain killers threw my veins to see which one fit the best for my body to respond to. It’s being said many times at a Gym those famouse words or in a mililatry. No Pain No Gain. The Beautiful Pain. But for me it was The Temple of Pain… Our body is The Temple of God where his spirt is always with us. Pain, pain, pain, and more pain….Hours passing by, felt like days. I just laid their and waited. Beside what else could I have done. I can stand up or talk or even sleep. They told me to get some rest and sleep. The only thing about sleeping is that I was to scared to do so. You see the tube inside my mouth clouded every hour or so. It got full of saliva, so once it did that . I could no longer breath and that why I was afraid. Later on my wife gave a small notebook were I could right down what I felt or if I needed anything. Sometimes they wouldn’t understand what I was writing. My hand writing was terrible. My hands felt two weak to even right with good pulse. But I do remember writing that my tube was clouded. And that the nurse had to come and clean it out. They use like some kind of vacuim cleaner to clean it. It took like thrity seconds. But for those thirthy seconds I couldn’t breath. You see they had to disconnect it from my throat tube in order for them to clean it. But I neeed it that tube in order to breath. One night I don’t know what happen that my tube disconnect it. I guesss it was not incerted correctly last time they clean it. I was scared, couldn’t move and couldn’t breath. Luckly for me the tube was almost wright next to me, by my side on the bed. With all my streghn and focus I reach and got the tube and hooked back by myself . It just had to connect next to my mouth it was like a clib on sort of mask. The next night I would have my first smonge bath, which I got very shy and sad about. Why because for someone to clean me and I being naked and weak, should not be a pretty side for a nurse to see especially if it a lady nurse.. Couple of days had passed by when another terrible news was about to hit me. The Doctors said that maybe I wouldn’t be able to breath if he disconnect it me from the machine. That I wouldn’t be able to breath like everyone else . That I neeed that tube inside my throat in order to breath and stay alive. My world came falling down at me once again. How would I live with a tube threw my throat. How would I talk again to the once I love..I could not picture myself like that for the rest of my life. They said that in a few days they would take the tube out of my throat and see if I can breath normal without the machine. All I could do is wait and feel the pain to rare of with the morhine. The day came for them to do what they said. I was very nervous and anxious to see the results. I felt strong and was determined to breath. I did not come these far to stop now. I had faith in Jesus that I would be able to breath like normal people. So they started un hooking the tubes, moving the machine away but close by for emergencie. I felt I wasn’t breathing anymore like when they clean the tube. Getting scared with determenation. When suddenly the tube was out. I took I deep breath of normal air that felt so good inside me like no other. The air we all breath and not from a machine. The air we breath feels and even taste different. Something God created for all of us. I was so happy everything it starting to go my way. The terrible pain was still their. I had to be druged for me not to feel the pain inside my chest. My God I was open in half for eleven hours and woke up like a marshmallow…with terrible pain…Days and weeks passing by was very hard for me. But if it something bodybuilding have thought me is never giving up. With the years passing by I have enjoyed playing sports and staying in shape. Trying to look and feel better every day. I hope one day a can compete in an amateur show. That my dream. I Love Bodybuilding. I will give glory to Your name forever, for Your love for me is very great. You have rescued me from the depths of death. ~ Psalm 86:11-13 NLT No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God.~ Romans 8:38-39 NLT Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself,~ 1 Corinthians 6 2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. For I cried out to Him for help, praising Him as I spoke. ~ Psalm 66:17 1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God's temple. Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me

I love bodybuilding because it makes me feel good. Beside, I get to let go of all my stress inside me. I feel so relax after wards..

Never give up. Seeing other people with the same goals and loving the pain one must go to look good. Well that motivation for me.

Starting to see the differnce day by day.

NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER