Atlantis

Gentleman, we have a situation at large. We must not let it escalate into a world wide disaster. They have united across the entire nation and have even began to form factions of resistence throughout international countries. They are emerging everywhere and in large quantities, almost as if they can asexually reproduce. They are all around, many disguised as regular people. You may encounter them on trains, grocery stores, bars, at school, everywhere, and may not even know who just passed you by. You can see them in their element and unmasked at gyms nationwide. Most commonly chain and yuppie gyms where the dumbells dont exceed 100 lbs and the treadmills and elyptical machines stretch as far as the eye can see. You may see them on the bench press day in and day out. Or molesting the squat rack doing curls. But they are most commonly found on the most complicated and colorful of ab machines. They have taken over the TV networks and mainstream america. They are currently brainwashing millions as i write this. Thier intentions are unkown, but our secret sources have revealed that they are a threat to mankind. They must be delt with. They must be stopped. I warn you fellow iron addicts to recognize their call. Cover your ears for it is one of the most uneuphoric sounds ever produced and picked up by the human ear. Beware the battle cry of the gym pussy: "I dont want to be big, i just want to get toned!" -Br