Last Visit: Aug 25, 2009 4:26am Last Forum Post:Never Last Photo Upload:Never Last Profile Update: Aug 16, 2009 10:08pm Last Blog Post: Aug 19, 2009 7:49pm
I come from a very long line of science junkies. Whether it is because I always got bug collections for my birthday or I am genetically pre-disposed to prefer biology texts to modern vampire stories, is uncertain. One thing is certain, however, and that is my love for the human physique (and, to an extent, mechanics). My entrance into the bodybuilding world was an accident but I wouldn't call it a mistake. My life and environment collapsed around me and between my junior year of high school-freshman year in college I had a terrible bout of Anorexia and Bulimia (I've had a marked Eating Disorder most of my life, however). I don't know how I survived - I ate 50-300 calories a day and forced myself to perform moderate-intense exercise for at least an hour every day! My friends and family, naturally, expressed concern but it wasn't until my parents discussed hospitalization that the gravity of my condition set in. I tried to push it off, "They're the ones with the problem," I decided; however, my heart rate had plummeted and I was experiencing more and more disrythmia problems. Terrified for my life, I decided to gain. Initially, my desire was muscle-mass over a longer time-period but pressure to put on weight quickly led me to over-consume calories. It didn't help that my weight-training knowledge was comparable to that of a six-year-old. The result? Guilt-felt eating habits, frequent purging episodes, and extreme depression, not to mention significant fat gain! During one of my nights of routine insomnia, I was surfing "pro-ana recipes" and stumbled upon some smoothie recipes on bodybuilding.com. Pictures of graceful, feminine muscle tone captivated me and I set out to discover how such a thing was accomplished. When I found it involved weight gain and eating, I wrote it off as a complete impossibility. Thank goodness for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder! I could not stop thinking about that beauty! During the following weeks, I spent all of my insomnia time on bodybuilding.com instead of on pro-ana/mia websites, absorbing every bit of information I could find, in addition to researching nutrition and metabolism journals via my school's library. Muscle, I decided, has a significant visual appeal over bones (which radiate sickness and unhappiness). I also thought it represented a greater degree of self-control than induced starvation. Despite my new-found vigor, when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was fat. The temptation to starve remained but the fear of losing muscle forced me to eat. I gradually continued to gain while fighting my eating disorder. But the depression was too great. Finally, the day before my recent birthday (two weeks ago), another horrible binge-episode led me to call my doctor (and fabulous friend) in tears. The day after my birthday, I received help.
I am delighted to announce that the Zoloft has kicked in, I have a complete diet and training schedule (composed of my favorite foods), and I discovered that I have a sense of humor after all!
Why I Love It:
I am addicted to Endorphins like a heroin-druggy. To quote the post-modern phrase, "Because it feels good."
Also, there's a sense of control and achievement (which nourishes my type-A personality).
How I Stay Motivated:
A tape measure and a mirror.
BB Accomplishments:
I put my training schedule together! Whoop Whoop!
Forum Signature:
"Healthy people live longer...but we're Christians. The world is not our home. Have a twinky for Jesus!" --nothing bodybuilding/fat loss related, but i love it anyway.
Enhance my muscular physique whilst shedding unnecessary fat and practicing healthy, routine clean eating.
Goal (Long):
Bear with me, this is long-whinded but worth it!
My top priority is to decrease fat (or, "diet down"). After that, I will determine my next step. I have always been the "thin-fat" kid. That is to say, most of my life was spent at a "healthy" weight (if not underweight) according to the standard BMI scale, but my body fat percentage has always been high, comparatively. Growing up, we were poor (but I didn't know that) and my dad was on a low-fat diet for his health. My mother did the best she could to provide healthy meals for us but the fact of the matter was that there simply wasn't enough money: lesser-quality foods were less expensive. My hypothesis is that being raised on fat free snacks and mac 'n cheese contributed to my BF%.
With the understanding that physicians have significantly more authority than I do concerning weight, height, and health, I still found it difficult to believe that I "didn't need to lose weight," especially when my friends were very lean and I had a muffin top. Something didn't make sense to me about the BMI scale.
Now, I know why.
In my opinion, weight should be determined by three factors: height, body fat percentage, and frame size. I believe lumping everyone into a boat of height and weight exclusively, does all of us a disservice. It is no wonder I thought I was fat! I have a very small frame for my height and I've never been very muscular.
As far as muscle-building/maintaining and weight-lifting go:
I want to build chest and shoulder muscles (still quite skeletal, as my body places fat below the naval), although my biceps and triceps are quite toned and large - not really sure how that happened. My back needs some work but it isn't too flabby. My stomach (or belly) is disgraceful! I would love to see some definition, but I am not really after a six-pack of abs - I just want the assurance that I do, in fact, have abs. Below the waist, I'm not really sure what's going on. I do lunges, squats, calf raises and good-mornings. I don't perform leg raises or seated leg curls because those muscles are very well developed already. In general though, my legs must be a combination of muscle loss and genetics.. my thighs should get a spot on America's Funniest Videos. I'm pretty sure that when I was "losing" weight before, it actually began at my neck and just "fell down."
Cardio. I do lots of it! At least two hours a day, and I try to keep my heart rate between 150-160. I have a bike at home, several acres of land to walk and I do the elliptical at the gym for 18 minutes after weights, keeping my heart rate at 180-185 to burn any excess carbohydrates left in my system before bed.
So, what are my goals? To get down to 12% body fat (at least once in my life, to see how it looks). If that is easy for me to maintain, I would like to maintain 12% long-term. I am very active with dieting being my favorite sport. The image I would like to have is one of health and activity. The best image I can use to describe my desire, is that of long, lean fitness models in Fitness Magazine. Anything above and beyond that is outside my limits... I probably would be unable to afford the financial commitment to clean foods and gym membership on my own. To save myself from heartache and despair, I am going to set my goal date at July 30, 2010 - my birthday next year. That date carries more weight with it now, more than ever (read my bio, pardon the pun)!
I have kept up with my diet and workout regimen although I haven't posted anything. My weight is up at 138 but I know it's only water. I've decided to do a total body workout every day instead of halving it all week - I'm simply not wearing myself out enough! There are only a few muscles that...
-Monday-
90 minutes Bike, low-moderate intensity
Squats, Lunges, Good-mornings, Deadlifts, Back Extensions, Calf Raises, performing each to within one rep of exhaustion
10-18 minutes Elliptical, high-intensity
-Tuesday-
90 minutes Bike, low-moderate intensity
Crunches (on machine), Shoulder...
